Hello!!!

Long journal with grammatical mistakes, I warn you



I have not write since...Well, I can't remember XD. I am just to lazy to write here... (here, at my LJ...anywhere XD)

I just want to write here to give thanks for my 9.000 pageviews, I cant't belive I get this number, though I know it is not too much according with the time I have been here^^U.

Let's tell the TRUE, people don't like my drawings, there is something wrong in me, or my style. I think people don't like my art and I don't know if it's because I am doing something wrong (though I am happy with I draw, so, if people don't like it, I can't do anything, but it is just curiosity, nothing more). Although I am trying not to think too much about this, I cant to avoid to be a bit sad sometimes^^U.

I watch how people develop (better or wrong, I don't care, but the do) and, to me, I am not..."growing". I try to do different styles, but sometimes I think this case is that made my drawings looks bad, maybe is not good to draw, at the same time, manga and trying to create a more personal style (the style I used to illustrate my book. I have not upload a lot of things about this style here). Sometimes I think it would be better if I tried to draw only in a style, but then, I hit myself to think about it XD. I am happy drawing this things, and, lets tell the true, I am proud of myself to can draw (or at least to try it XD) different styles. All this problem is also making me think I should to create separete accounts, but I am not sure ^^U.

I have been thinking about it all this summer. I have been having troubles with myself, my inspiration go away, my hand did not draw when I wanted it to do, it was like my brain stoped and I could not do anything to change it. When I wanted more to drawn (in summer), I couldn't. It was like I was wasting my time. I was really sad and only could to cry and feeling... empty, can't explain properly, but I keep it to myself. I am not like this, I am always smiling and "happy" and, suddenly, I only could to be sad and to feel sorry for myself (yeah, I am THIS stupid. Nowadays I can't avoid to be sad sometimes, but I am trying to change, really I am, step by step, need to change my mind)

Oh, I was actually thinking about leavin DA and sometimes this idea back to my mind XD or not to drawn in a while. I know it is normal among artists (if I can be called like this), I am sure I saw it worse than it was, but well, that's myself

I am really happy with people that follow me or try to comment my drawings (and favs too), it is enough for me, and you, guys, are the best!!! thank you very much for supporting me, like, for example who gave me publicity in her journal because she wanted to do it. She is really kind with me always^^. Thanks Hiyumee-chan!!! . But I can also mention and more people, thanks a lot.

People also say to do fan arts, gives you famer, well, that's not my case XD and, of course, I DON'T do fan art to be famous. I do them because I feel like to do them. Fan art is not better than original, and original drawins are not better than fan arts, I think. They are differents way to express youself. Of course that's only my opinion^^U if you think different, I respect you for sure^^




Also, I want to thanks my friends, like , (well she's my sis) or (though there is more people, of course) to try to encourage me (yeah, I have tried to have all this like a "secret", my problem I meant, but sometimes I just needed to tell someone about it. I feel ashamed of myself explaining my bullshit¬¬.



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In other things, I ended my course satisfactorily. I'm happy to have know my classmates. Love you a lot!!!! you are the best!!! Don't change you!!!:



Mention also to my dear cosply group "Crossed Destinies", I am really happy to have know you personally. I want to meet you again!!!! Is a pity all them have nor DA, but well >.<:
and without da: Clow, Eriol, Hiro, Hikki-chan, Lestat and Feith. There I also meet to . Thank you very much, for to be all you, very kind with me^^


If I miss someone, let me know!!! >.< It's difficult to try to remind all your names for me XD

I know all this I have write have no sense, but I needed to write about it, thanks to read it^^